We got home last night from a wonderful family vacation in Carlsbad. We were there for 10 days and enjoyed the beach, Disneyland, and Lego Land. Today I have been amazed at how quickly life gets thrown back at us. No time to wind down, no time to catch our breath. Before we left, the boys had been practicing baseball 6 days a week, basketball on the weekends, and tennis several times a week. So, needless to say, our family time was much needed and cherished. Our oldest two are only 17 months apart, and while I thought the stage of life when they were both small was busy, it is nothing compared to now! And, that was with our oldest running by 9 months old, and quitting all naps by 18 months. While that was a time demanding stage, this is an emotionally demanding stage. Just this year, our oldest son (9), made a travel ball baseball team in which they would play 50+ games on the weekends in just 4 months. It took a lot of effort, but I talked my husband out of it, knowing it would not be a wise decision for our entire family. I felt really guilty, because Cameron was practically begging to play. However, we promised that he could play in a different league this year, a club that was much more demanding of our time, and more 'serious' than the league he played for last year. Thankfully my husband is coaching, head coach of Cameron, and helping with Logan's team, but that just makes the commitment level all the more crazy.
While on vacation, my husband received a phone call asking our oldest to play on their travel ball baseball team. It is a 10u team, and my husband asked if there was a 9u division. The guy told him that no, there wasn't yet, but there was a lot of interest, and asked if my hubby would start it up. Today we received a call from a basketball coach we met during this recent season asking if our oldest could play on his 4th grade travel basketball team. Practices would be several times a week, and they would play tournaments most weekends in the bay area. I'm sure that most of America wouldn't fret over decisions such as these, however, I feel really torn. Why on earth are sports becoming so serious at such a young age, and little boys start focusing on only one sport so early? Why do I feel like I am cheating my son if we say no, because we have already committed to baseball this season? Why does it feel like we are getting behind in the game if we don't compete at these higher travel ball levels?
Quick background: I have always said each kid can do only one thing at a time, because family time is so important, and because I don't want our family being pulled in every direction. And only this year, have I felt obligated to break that rule. Yes, he is only 9. I fully understand that, but I also fully understand the world of competitive sports. Sports are not JUST fun recreational activities to us. Sports are very important to our family. They have always been important to my husband and I, and because we have boys who show natural athleticism, and a strong desire to compete in sports, we want to give them the best opportunities possible. We will never push or "live vicariously through them", however, we will teach them to work hard, finish what they have started, and be the best they can be. Also, most importantly, had we not made the decision to home school, this wouldn't even be a question. Because I am blessed to be with them all day long, I feel okay with them playing sports in the evenings. And thankfully we do everything together, practices, games, etc.
With that said, something is going to suffer should we make this new commitment. What will it be? I don't know exactly, but I have a pretty good idea. It will most definitely be something in regard to the time we spend together as a family of five. Time around the dinner table. Game night. Movie night. Sit on the couch and cuddle time. I say family of five because I get to enjoy the boys all day long. And Mark gets to enjoy the two bigger boys in the evenings during practice, and on free nights he makes an effort to spend quality time with Brody.
It still amazes me that we as parents feel our children are getting behind in the game if we don't participate in these opportunities that come our way. Our family truly loves sports. But I don't truly love being busy. Baseball will slightly overlap into football, which starts 5 days/week in July, and then we have a few weeks before basketball starts, and then baseball overlaps with basketball. The boys are also doing piano lessons right now, because I have always said that more than anything I want them to be well rounded, well educated, and have fun with what they are doing. If one (or all) of our boys came to us and said they didn't want to play _______(whatever sport), I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. I would never force them to do something they didn't want to do. However, if they start something, they must finish it, with a positive attitude, and meaningful effort. But, the thing is, right now, they want to play EVERYTHING! Baseball, soccer, tennis, football, basketball, everything! And that's the hard part as a parent, because that's when you need to step in and set boundaries that will be best for them, without limiting or hindering them.
Oh my. What to do, what to do?
