We got home last night from a wonderful family vacation in Carlsbad. We were there for 10 days and enjoyed the beach, Disneyland, and Lego Land. Today I have been amazed at how quickly life gets thrown back at us. No time to wind down, no time to catch our breath. Before we left, the boys had been practicing baseball 6 days a week, basketball on the weekends, and tennis several times a week. So, needless to say, our family time was much needed and cherished. Our oldest two are only 17 months apart, and while I thought the stage of life when they were both small was busy, it is nothing compared to now! And, that was with our oldest running by 9 months old, and quitting all naps by 18 months. While that was a time demanding stage, this is an emotionally demanding stage. Just this year, our oldest son (9), made a travel ball baseball team in which they would play 50+ games on the weekends in just 4 months. It took a lot of effort, but I talked my husband out of it, knowing it would not be a wise decision for our entire family. I felt really guilty, because Cameron was practically begging to play. However, we promised that he could play in a different league this year, a club that was much more demanding of our time, and more 'serious' than the league he played for last year. Thankfully my husband is coaching, head coach of Cameron, and helping with Logan's team, but that just makes the commitment level all the more crazy.
While on vacation, my husband received a phone call asking our oldest to play on their travel ball baseball team. It is a 10u team, and my husband asked if there was a 9u division. The guy told him that no, there wasn't yet, but there was a lot of interest, and asked if my hubby would start it up. Today we received a call from a basketball coach we met during this recent season asking if our oldest could play on his 4th grade travel basketball team. Practices would be several times a week, and they would play tournaments most weekends in the bay area. I'm sure that most of America wouldn't fret over decisions such as these, however, I feel really torn. Why on earth are sports becoming so serious at such a young age, and little boys start focusing on only one sport so early? Why do I feel like I am cheating my son if we say no, because we have already committed to baseball this season? Why does it feel like we are getting behind in the game if we don't compete at these higher travel ball levels?
Quick background: I have always said each kid can do only one thing at a time, because family time is so important, and because I don't want our family being pulled in every direction. And only this year, have I felt obligated to break that rule. Yes, he is only 9. I fully understand that, but I also fully understand the world of competitive sports. Sports are not JUST fun recreational activities to us. Sports are very important to our family. They have always been important to my husband and I, and because we have boys who show natural athleticism, and a strong desire to compete in sports, we want to give them the best opportunities possible. We will never push or "live vicariously through them", however, we will teach them to work hard, finish what they have started, and be the best they can be. Also, most importantly, had we not made the decision to home school, this wouldn't even be a question. Because I am blessed to be with them all day long, I feel okay with them playing sports in the evenings. And thankfully we do everything together, practices, games, etc.
With that said, something is going to suffer should we make this new commitment. What will it be? I don't know exactly, but I have a pretty good idea. It will most definitely be something in regard to the time we spend together as a family of five. Time around the dinner table. Game night. Movie night. Sit on the couch and cuddle time. I say family of five because I get to enjoy the boys all day long. And Mark gets to enjoy the two bigger boys in the evenings during practice, and on free nights he makes an effort to spend quality time with Brody.
It still amazes me that we as parents feel our children are getting behind in the game if we don't participate in these opportunities that come our way. Our family truly loves sports. But I don't truly love being busy. Baseball will slightly overlap into football, which starts 5 days/week in July, and then we have a few weeks before basketball starts, and then baseball overlaps with basketball. The boys are also doing piano lessons right now, because I have always said that more than anything I want them to be well rounded, well educated, and have fun with what they are doing. If one (or all) of our boys came to us and said they didn't want to play _______(whatever sport), I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. I would never force them to do something they didn't want to do. However, if they start something, they must finish it, with a positive attitude, and meaningful effort. But, the thing is, right now, they want to play EVERYTHING! Baseball, soccer, tennis, football, basketball, everything! And that's the hard part as a parent, because that's when you need to step in and set boundaries that will be best for them, without limiting or hindering them.
Oh my. What to do, what to do?
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
ups and downs
On Friday I took Cameron (9), and Logan (7) to Dodge Ridge to ski and snowboard. We scheduled the trip two months ago. We talked about it for weeks. We laid out our snow clothes two days in advance. I made a special trip to the store for yummy treats, and packed a large lunch for us to enjoy. Even though there had been no snow for months, it finally snowed the week prior, and Dodge Ridge was finally able to open for business two days before our arrival. We went to bed early, well, we tried... the boys were too excited to sleep, and I was too busy preparing for our busy day. That morning we got up early and were able to make it out the door only 5 minutes later than I had anticipated. 5 minutes from home I realized I forgot our supply of bottled water. I really dislike going anywhere without having an emergency supply of waters. About 30 minutes down the road Mark (my husband) called and asked me where my car keys were. I had taken his truck because I thought it would be safer driving in snow/ice, and left him with my Tahoe. I had an immediate sinking feeling. I am notorious for leaving my car keys in my purse despite my husbands persistent pleas to keep them in our butler pantry drawer. Let me clarify that we have one set of keys for my car, and sure enough, the keys were in my purse, which was sitting next to me, and I was 30 minutes from home and on a tight schedule to meet up with our group. I knew he was also on a tight schedule because he had an appointment he needed to be at in 20 minutes. I felt awful. Our fun filled day was not off to a fun start.
When we arrived at the ski resort, it was a whopping 24 degrees. Brrrr! It wasn't crowded at all and we were able to get a parking spot right across from the lodge, which was wonderful, because on busy days, people must park very. far. away. Things seemed to be going smoothly again, and we were able to get our boot and helmet rentals (for the boys) quickly and easily. The boys got their boots and complained of only minimal discomfort, and we went to the next station for equipment rentals. The gentleman helping us informed us that if the boys were indeed going to be snowboarding, they would need to get on different boots, because they were wearing ski boots. Our rental agreements specifically stated SNOWBOARD, and of course I don't know the difference, so back we go to station #1. It took forever. The boys were starting to get antsy, and simply put, they were ready to hit the slopes. We finally got them the right boots, which they proclaimed were muuuch more comfortable. I was jealous. I wanted comfortable boots too. I felt like a walking zombie. Clomp. Clomp. Back to station #2. The kind gentleman took his time putting bindings on Cameron's board, and just as he finished a helpful gentleman walked over and told him that those were adult bindings, not kids, and he would need to change them out. So he did. And then, he made the same exact mistake with Logan's board. So we waited while he changed those ones also.
By this point Cameron has already asked at least a dozen times if we are ready yet. Finally we are. Or so we think ;) We head down the stairs and trek across the snow to test out the rope tow that the boys have had their eye on. But, halfway there Logan is complaining that his board is too heavy. He can't carry it. It's too big. Cameron is hot from the effort he has exerted thus far and unable to take one more step, begins to strip off gloves, scarf, etc. Logan can't go any further. He has to much stuff to carry, and now he is hot as well. We finally approach the rope tow, and I place my ski gear in a safe spot, thinking I will quickly return to it, and we will be able to traverse down the bunny hill together. wrong. I have no clue how the boys are supposed to maneuver with their snowboards on, and there is no one around to learn from, so with both of their feet firmly strapped, I carry each boy over to the rope tow. Here we go! I can't wait for them to get up the hill and enjoy the thrill of riding down it. What was I thinking?! I set Cameron up first, get him situated with his feet pointing straight ahead, he grabs the rope, and is jerked forward and dragged several feet. As I shout for him to let go of the rope, I realize he is laying in the path of those who can successfully make it up the hill on the rope tow, so I rush ahead and pull him out of harms way. Logan's turn. Same thing. We literally covered 5 feet in 20 attempts. By Cameron's 3rd attempt, he said he was done with snowboarding and wanted to ski instead.
Cameron is a very fast learner, and generally has immediate success with whatever he does. My husband and I prepped him several times, stating that this would not be easy, and he probably wouldn't get the hang of it the first, second, third, or even 10th time. It would take a lot of practice. But here he was, ripping off his helmet, unstrapping his boots, fervent in his plea to return to the equipment room and exchange his gear for a new sport. I explained that we were unable to do that, and were going to continue trying, and he would probably have much more success after his lesson.
By this time I had lifted, drug, pulled, and carried each boy numerous times. I could not wait for their lesson to start. They were both very frustrated.
Summary of our first hour:
Wrong boots for both boys. Wrong bindings for both boys. Logan's board is too heavy. Cam is hot. Cam hates snowboarding. Cam wants to ski. Cam is never snowboarding again. Cam wants to switch to skiing. Logan doesn't understand why he must carry his board. Logan can't remember how to strap his boots. Ever. Mom has strapped boots 30 times. Mom has carried both boys uphill 2 times. 20 tries on the rope tow = a gain of 5 yards.
Thankfully it is time for the lesson, and not a second too soon! Mom is a sweaty mess, and both boys are frustrated beyond belief. I am regretting our decision to come, and regretting the fact that I thought I could do this on my own. I didn't sign up for the manual labor that has been required of me in the past hour. I thought it would be a good time for me to ski a few hills while the boys were in their lesson, so off I go! As I am going higher and further away from safety in the chair lift, I remember that I have only skied 3 times before, and the last time was 5 years ago. And, if that's not enough for one to take precautionary measure, I also neglected the fact that I had not done any type of refresher for myself at all since arriving that morning.
As I approached the 'drop off' I began to get nervous, and to make matters worse, the little boy on the chair in front of me fell in the middle of the hill at 'dismount' and simply laid there. Concentrating hard, I remember to point my skis up, ready my poles, and off I go, quickly realizing that because of the narrow dismount area, and more likely because my skills had not been recently practiced, there is absolutely no way I will be able to gracefully ski around this boy. I can't even ungracefully ski around him. I basically hit the ground, wobbled, and slid. Wow. What did I get myself into? This lovely little dismount area is much steeper than the hill I am attempting to ski. I awkwardly made it to bottom of this little area and off I go. It is at this moment that I realize skiing is not like riding a bike, it is not something that after doing a mere three times, comes quickly to memory. It is not something my body remembers. I do not quickly sharpen my skills and gracefully ski down the mountain. Nope. That is not me, and that is not my moment. I flailed and fell. After many attempts at standing, I was finally successful, but trust me, successful is the last thing I felt. I took it slow after that, and spent the first half of my descent rocking the 'pizza' stance until I finally felt more comfortable with slow, sweeping turns. First and last trip up the hill for me that day.
Thankfully it was much more fun for me to hang out with the boys for the rest of the day, plus I felt really guilty being away from them in the event of an emergency, even if they were in a class. Once they finished their lesson they were ready to take on the world, so we walked over the the bunny hill again, and made several more unsuccessful attempts on the rope tow. Finally they started walking up the hill and very successfully boarded down it. I was so proud of them! They were doing great! After lunch, they felt ready to conquer the rope tow once more, and were finally able to get the hang of it. I felt that this was a crowning moment in their day. Something they had not only looked forward to and were excited about, but something they had worked so very hard to accomplish. By the end of the day they had an absolute blast and asked to come back the next day. I told them their dad would take them ;)
They hugged me and thanked me a zillion times, and told me how special their day was. They thanked me for the quality time they received and for all of the yummy treats I brought. They are truly wonderful boys, and I absolutely love spending my days with them.
When we arrived at the ski resort, it was a whopping 24 degrees. Brrrr! It wasn't crowded at all and we were able to get a parking spot right across from the lodge, which was wonderful, because on busy days, people must park very. far. away. Things seemed to be going smoothly again, and we were able to get our boot and helmet rentals (for the boys) quickly and easily. The boys got their boots and complained of only minimal discomfort, and we went to the next station for equipment rentals. The gentleman helping us informed us that if the boys were indeed going to be snowboarding, they would need to get on different boots, because they were wearing ski boots. Our rental agreements specifically stated SNOWBOARD, and of course I don't know the difference, so back we go to station #1. It took forever. The boys were starting to get antsy, and simply put, they were ready to hit the slopes. We finally got them the right boots, which they proclaimed were muuuch more comfortable. I was jealous. I wanted comfortable boots too. I felt like a walking zombie. Clomp. Clomp. Back to station #2. The kind gentleman took his time putting bindings on Cameron's board, and just as he finished a helpful gentleman walked over and told him that those were adult bindings, not kids, and he would need to change them out. So he did. And then, he made the same exact mistake with Logan's board. So we waited while he changed those ones also.
By this point Cameron has already asked at least a dozen times if we are ready yet. Finally we are. Or so we think ;) We head down the stairs and trek across the snow to test out the rope tow that the boys have had their eye on. But, halfway there Logan is complaining that his board is too heavy. He can't carry it. It's too big. Cameron is hot from the effort he has exerted thus far and unable to take one more step, begins to strip off gloves, scarf, etc. Logan can't go any further. He has to much stuff to carry, and now he is hot as well. We finally approach the rope tow, and I place my ski gear in a safe spot, thinking I will quickly return to it, and we will be able to traverse down the bunny hill together. wrong. I have no clue how the boys are supposed to maneuver with their snowboards on, and there is no one around to learn from, so with both of their feet firmly strapped, I carry each boy over to the rope tow. Here we go! I can't wait for them to get up the hill and enjoy the thrill of riding down it. What was I thinking?! I set Cameron up first, get him situated with his feet pointing straight ahead, he grabs the rope, and is jerked forward and dragged several feet. As I shout for him to let go of the rope, I realize he is laying in the path of those who can successfully make it up the hill on the rope tow, so I rush ahead and pull him out of harms way. Logan's turn. Same thing. We literally covered 5 feet in 20 attempts. By Cameron's 3rd attempt, he said he was done with snowboarding and wanted to ski instead.
Cameron is a very fast learner, and generally has immediate success with whatever he does. My husband and I prepped him several times, stating that this would not be easy, and he probably wouldn't get the hang of it the first, second, third, or even 10th time. It would take a lot of practice. But here he was, ripping off his helmet, unstrapping his boots, fervent in his plea to return to the equipment room and exchange his gear for a new sport. I explained that we were unable to do that, and were going to continue trying, and he would probably have much more success after his lesson.
By this time I had lifted, drug, pulled, and carried each boy numerous times. I could not wait for their lesson to start. They were both very frustrated.
Summary of our first hour:
Wrong boots for both boys. Wrong bindings for both boys. Logan's board is too heavy. Cam is hot. Cam hates snowboarding. Cam wants to ski. Cam is never snowboarding again. Cam wants to switch to skiing. Logan doesn't understand why he must carry his board. Logan can't remember how to strap his boots. Ever. Mom has strapped boots 30 times. Mom has carried both boys uphill 2 times. 20 tries on the rope tow = a gain of 5 yards.
Thankfully it is time for the lesson, and not a second too soon! Mom is a sweaty mess, and both boys are frustrated beyond belief. I am regretting our decision to come, and regretting the fact that I thought I could do this on my own. I didn't sign up for the manual labor that has been required of me in the past hour. I thought it would be a good time for me to ski a few hills while the boys were in their lesson, so off I go! As I am going higher and further away from safety in the chair lift, I remember that I have only skied 3 times before, and the last time was 5 years ago. And, if that's not enough for one to take precautionary measure, I also neglected the fact that I had not done any type of refresher for myself at all since arriving that morning.
As I approached the 'drop off' I began to get nervous, and to make matters worse, the little boy on the chair in front of me fell in the middle of the hill at 'dismount' and simply laid there. Concentrating hard, I remember to point my skis up, ready my poles, and off I go, quickly realizing that because of the narrow dismount area, and more likely because my skills had not been recently practiced, there is absolutely no way I will be able to gracefully ski around this boy. I can't even ungracefully ski around him. I basically hit the ground, wobbled, and slid. Wow. What did I get myself into? This lovely little dismount area is much steeper than the hill I am attempting to ski. I awkwardly made it to bottom of this little area and off I go. It is at this moment that I realize skiing is not like riding a bike, it is not something that after doing a mere three times, comes quickly to memory. It is not something my body remembers. I do not quickly sharpen my skills and gracefully ski down the mountain. Nope. That is not me, and that is not my moment. I flailed and fell. After many attempts at standing, I was finally successful, but trust me, successful is the last thing I felt. I took it slow after that, and spent the first half of my descent rocking the 'pizza' stance until I finally felt more comfortable with slow, sweeping turns. First and last trip up the hill for me that day.
Thankfully it was much more fun for me to hang out with the boys for the rest of the day, plus I felt really guilty being away from them in the event of an emergency, even if they were in a class. Once they finished their lesson they were ready to take on the world, so we walked over the the bunny hill again, and made several more unsuccessful attempts on the rope tow. Finally they started walking up the hill and very successfully boarded down it. I was so proud of them! They were doing great! After lunch, they felt ready to conquer the rope tow once more, and were finally able to get the hang of it. I felt that this was a crowning moment in their day. Something they had not only looked forward to and were excited about, but something they had worked so very hard to accomplish. By the end of the day they had an absolute blast and asked to come back the next day. I told them their dad would take them ;)
They hugged me and thanked me a zillion times, and told me how special their day was. They thanked me for the quality time they received and for all of the yummy treats I brought. They are truly wonderful boys, and I absolutely love spending my days with them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)