Logan's Hospital Trip Part 2 (2007)

***This happened exactly four years ago***

     To quickly backtrack and give example as to how serious this was becoming: When I first brought Logan to the doctor on Thursday he measured the spot on his leg and circled the red area with a pen so that we could monitor its growth.  The initial measurement was a circle about 2 inches in diameter.  On Friday it was only slightly larger, however by Saturday afternoon, the entire area was as large as my (completely) outstretched hand.  Despite the oral antibiotics, it was growing at an alarming rate.  Finally around 5pm on Saturday Logan finally had his first dose of IV antibiotics, and by 7:45 my sweet baby was sound asleep.  I could only imagine how exhausted his little body was. He had spent most of the afternoon being held down on a hospital bed by 6 or more adults while they made numerous failed attempted at getting an IV in him.  Each time someone would walk into his room he would scream "don't let them poke me!!"  I prayed countless times that afternoon.      

          The first IV attempt was probably the worst.  The nurse started it off by asking me "Do you think he will cry?" (In broken English).  5 of us were in there to hold him down and the nurse wouldn't stop complaining about how much Logan was moving.  I can't tell you how many times we were told "Wow - he's really strong", or "Wow - he's such an active boy".  “Yes, we know!!” I wanted to yell. I know that this sounds very silly, but it's amazing when it happens to you; let me preface it with this - I do not do good AT ALL with blood, I don't do that good with needles, and I clearly do not do well when my children are hurting and there is nothing I can do about it... However, truly by the grace of God I did not cry or overreact even once.  I was able to maintain my composure and even WATCH as they attempted over and over to poke my helpless child, praying all the while that it would finally work.  An astounding sense of peace literally overtook me.   My mother, who graduates the nursing program in one month (and gives IV's to people all the time) was crying very hard at Logan's discomfort.  It was an amazing sense of calm and strength that came over me, and for those of you who don't know me, I am very emotional now that I have kids.  I could go on and on about this part of my experience, but would lack doing it any justice.        

     After Logan fell into a deep sleep, they informed us that we would need to be moved to a “special” room. The nurses came in to move his bed all the way down the hall to his new room bumping into everything imaginable along the way.  My precious little guy didn't even budge - he was so exhausted.  My baby looked so small and helpless lying in that big bed sleeping. It was very hard to see.  It was a difficult night with nurses coming in every 45 minutes, and it meant no sleep for me, but thankfully Logan slept great.  They had to draw blood several times the following day, which allowed our experience to be even more memorable.  Logan's last day in the hospital was spent in isolation, which was definitely not fun.  It's was also a little disconcerting to have a big huge 'STOP' sign on our room door to let everyone know that we were the plague.  This would also mean that Logan would no longer be allowed out of his room to walk around to burn off just a small amount of the energy my two year had bottled up inside.  It also meant that it was now solely up to mommy to provide non-stop entertainment.              

      Fast forward through a bunch of other stuff, including the promised doctor visit on Sunday that NEVER came, Logan was finally released on Monday at about 10:30pm.  He left extremely traumatized, and with lots of bruises on his hands and arms, including broken blood vessels on his arms and face.  When we got home, the first thing I did was give him a bath, and while in the bath he told Cameron that he was a doctor and needed to give him a shot, he pinched Cameron on the neck so hard that it almost bled, apparently his impression of doctors isn't very high at this time. We were supposed to leave for vacation on Saturday (the day Logan was admitted) in Palm Springs with Randy & Melinda (my gracious in-laws), but were delayed slightly by our hospital experience. We were able to leave Monday however, around 11:30 PM, and we arrived in Palm Springs around 6:30 Tues morn.  I had spent most of the night either driving (in the rain), or sitting in the middle seat between the boys' large car seats. Logan (and Cameron) cried frequently and needed lots of comforting. When we walked through the doors of the villa, I was the most exhausted I had ever been. I handed the boys off to my loving in-laws and went straight to bed for a few hours.            

     It took a few days to catch up on sleep, but we had a really great time, and thankfully Logan's leg started to heal.  We returned home last night and Logan had a check up this morning.  The doctor said everything looks fine but the scar tissue will probably take a long time to go away, and I later found out from our herbalist that Vanco can stay in your system for up to 18 years! :(   It was all such a blur, so thank you to all of those who were praying for us, it helped more than you know.  We appreciated your cards and notes of kindness, your phone calls, the gifts for Logan, and your thoughts.  We love you all so very much and we are soo blessed to have friends and family like you.  THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU!!!

Logan's Hospital Trip Part 1 (2007)

**These posts are from exactly 4 years ago**

     Well, (as you all know) Logan is out of the hospital.  It was definitely an experience.  My heart goes out to all of the little children in hospitals and their loved ones who have to see them there.  It is so spiritually, emotionally, and physically draining.  We have been out of town since Logan's release and I was unable to get on the computer to give you all an update.  I had my sister Jessica post a bulletin for me on Wed. night.  So, for those of you are unsure as to what happened, I'll give you a full update. On Tuesday I noticed a spot on Logan's thigh that looked like an ingrown hair (a tiny pimple-like mark).  By Wednesday it had grown slightly, but not to the point in which I would be overly concerned.  Wednesday night however it really started to hurt Logan and he cried much of the night - especially when the sheets would touch the spot.  Thursday morning I got us up extra early and called the doctor hoping we could get in at opening time (we live 1/4 mile away), but as it turned out, they weren't able to see us until the afternoon.  As the day went on, the spot grew, and continued to be warm to the touch with hardness at the center.  

     When we finally made it to the doctor, he informed me that the spot was a boil and there was a possibility Logan would need to be hospitalized.  I didn't see that one coming! He told me that the boil was most likely MRSA (I had only heard of it the day before) and that it could be very dangerous.  So, we went home and Logan took the antibiotics, did the warm compresses religiously, and brought him back the next afternoon as prescribed.      At the following visit, being completely naive (possibly just stupid) I brought both boys with me to a nightmare appointment.  The spot had grown slightly, so the doctor told me again that we might have to go the hospital, but he wanted to "try" something first.  He grabbed some tools out of this large white bucket (that a nurse brought in) and told me to give Logan a hug because he might be a little uncomfortable.  So, still unaware myself of what exactly was about to happen, I give my little guy a big bear hug. The doctor pulled out a scalpel (I know this for a fact because I became very familiar with scalpels while dissecting a cat in high school) he grabbed a flippin scalpel, put on gloves, and started to poke a hole in Logan's leg where the "mark" was. Let me clarify something - Logan had previously cried when a thin sheet touched his leg, so imagine the pain he felt when the doober doctor poked a hole in his boil. Never in my life (and never again do I want to) hear my sweet baby cry the way he did in that office. It was sickening to watch and even more sickening to know that I was the one holding him down and enabling the doctor to do this. After the doctor poked a couple of openings in the boil he began to squeeze it.  I won't go in to detail about what was expressed from Logan's leg, but I will say that I was dumbfounded.  And I will also say that the doctor proceeded to squeeze and squeeze, until Logan came very close to passing out from the pain. His eyes started to roll back in his head and he was very pale. It was horrifying to watch. Logan is 2, and he's a pretty darn tough 2 yr old, but I guarantee I would have passed out had it been me on the table. The experience was absolutely traumatic. As I held Logan, feeling very close to shoving the doctor out the door, I remembered that my Cameron was in the room to, and might need some consoling as well. I looked at him, standing with his back to us near the door, and I noticed that his little shoulders were shaking (he was sobbing).  It was heartbreaking to seem him so upset by this.  It was also heartbreaking to know that Logan probably thought that his mommy didn't protect him from this terrible pain.  It took him a full 10 minutes to stop crying and 20 more for the tremors in his leg to stop.     

  We were then sent home again, to do all of the same things (that didn't work before).  The next morning I wasn't very hopeful because Logan's leg was looking a little worse, so I had to bring him back in to the doctor office, only to find out he would need to be admitted to the hospital.  Saturday at noon he was admitted, and they weren't able to get him started on his IV antibiotics until almost 5.  I'll tell you why in just a second.  :/  But first, the reason Logan had to be hospitalized was because the infection was growing at a very rapid rate, and would very likely enter his blood stream. MRSA doesn't respond well to most antibiotics, therefore he needed to be put on Vancomycin. It is possibly the most powerful antibiotic drug used and can enter the system very fast.             

     Saturday at noon he was admitted, and they weren't able to get him started on his IV antibiotics until almost 5.  I'll tell you why in just a second.  :/  But first, the reason Logan had to be hospitalized was because the infection was growing at a very rapid rate, and would very likely enter his blood stream. MRSA doesn't respond well to most antibiotics, therefore he needed to be put on Vancomycin. It is possibly the most powerful antibiotic drug used and can enter the system very fast. Vancomycin - appropriately nicknamed the King of Antibiotics, and The Drug of Last Resort, was being used on MY 2 year old. The day was only looking more grim after it took the nurses 5 times, FIVE TIMES!! to get Logan's IV in. It took 7 of us to hold him down, and that included my husband, Mark.  It took 3 hours, 3 painful, sweaty, dreadful hours to get the IV in. 4 different nurses made the attempt, and because there was a high possibility he would need surgery, he wasn't allowed to eat or drink, which caused him to be dehydrated, which then caused his veins to collapse. I was sick of them putting my baby through so much pain...

Fiery February Part 3



Tynlee Anne




so adorable!




My girls



my amazing little loves :)

     Jessica, Stephen, Steve, Karen, Pam (mom), and I were in the room when the "driver" came in to go over risks (it was rainy weather, possible car accident, possibility of having to intubate Tynlee), sign paperwork, etc.  Shortly after that, sweet Tynlee was wheeled to Jessica's room in what looked like a mini-rocket ship.  It took 2 men to wheel her in it and it seemed like it was 5 or 6 feet long.  It contained several oxygen tanks, and hundreds of other tricky contraptions.  It was time for Jessica to say good-bye.  We thought it would be a good idea to give the family of 3 a quiet minute alone, however, while we stepped outside the room, the driver, the rocket ship pushers, and the lady who would be riding with Tynlee remained in the room.  I felt bad because it felt like such an invasion of their privacy.  Thankfully Jessica was happy to spend any second she could with her baby.  The next moment I witnessed was extremely difficult to watch... when Stephen told Jess good-bye.  It was so sad! It was almost impossible for me to hold it together as I watched my sister sob and my brother-in-law hold her and reassure her.  

     The night had been filled with moments in which I didn't have words for.  Moments when I felt completely overwhelmed, and then completely filled with God's peace.  I know those were the moments in which people were praying for our family, and I can't begin to thank you enough for those prayers you sent our way.  People that I didn't even know told me that they were praying! It was awesome, comforting, and extremely reassuring.

     It wasn't until I got in the truck to head home around 1am when I had a ridiculous sob fest.  It both sounded and felt like I was wailing.  I had no words to say, but I trusted God knew my heart.  It was time for every single thing I had held inside for the last 7 hours to come out.  The most amazing thing was, that the closer I got to home the more my sobs became praises.  It was such a comforting experience to begin thinking about the details of the night and the way they played out.  1. Jessica was induced early, and if she hadn't been, the growth would have continued to grow at the same rate as the baby.  2. Tynlee's arms came out, meaning emergency c-section.  Had she delivered naturally, it might have risked being ruptured, or further damage.  3. The growth grew outward, not inward, hindering her breathing.  4. Stanford is so close to us! 

     I was completely hoarse by the time I got home to the amazing blessing of my 4 boys.  My sweet husband had been at work since 2:45 that morning, but he waited up for me, to hold me and comfort me. 

     There are so many more details to this story, so I will try to  fill in the blanks later! Thankfully Jessica, Stephen, and Tynlee spent their very first day at their home today.   I know they are exhausted, but still counting their blessings.

     2 more quick things, on Monday as I was leaving the hospital my grandfather and I crossed paths... he had to bring my Grandma Bev to the ER, worried about an infection in her foot.  The ER doc said she had just been on it too much, however, yesterday she found out she had an infection in her bone.  She is having a hard time walking and appears to be in a lot of pain.   Please continue your prayers for her that the infection would heal quickly and not cause damage. 

   And, lastly, yesterday we found out that my dear Grandma Jo, DOES have breast cancer.  I feel so bad for the emotional ups and downs she has been through, but amazed by her positive attitude.  She will have another surgery (she had one last Friday) in two weeks and then begin radiation.  So, please pray for her also. 

     Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers, and concern for our family during this time.  I am so, so blessed, and I fall more in love with my Savior every day!

Fiery February Part 1

     Let me begin by stating that although this has been an emotionally draining month for our family, it (thankfully) has not been a tragic one.  I know that there are thousands of people who go through much worse on a daily basis, and many of those with heartbreaking outcomes, so while we have had many humbling moments this month, we know that God's hand of protection has been over us the whole entire time.   I cannot begin to describe the blessing of having a close-knit family and the blessing of a family who relies on God.  I don't understand how people can get through difficult times without the assurance that God is in control, and without the power of prayer.  

   

    When I picked up my 2 older boys from school on Monday (Jan 31st) my sweet Logan (6) was running a high fever and just wanted to be held by mommy.  He didn't really have any other symptoms, and because when sick, his fevers can spike at 104-105, I wasn't overly concerned.  While I love the extra cuddles I get to give my boys when they aren't feeling well, it hurts my heart when my babies are sick.   Although he felt crummy and stayed home from school the rest of the week, he finally started feeling much better on Saturday. 

     That Tuesday (Feb 1), we found out that my Grandma Jo (maternal grandmother) had breast cancer.  Thankfully it was caught early and was a slow- growing cancer, the doctors said.  My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years prior, so I will admit, it definitely got me thinking about how this might increase my chances.  God gently reminded me through scripture that He was in control, and that my focus should never be on the "what-ifs". 

     That weekend was my sister Jessica's baby shower, and as we were decorating Friday, my mom got a call from Jessica stating that she would be staying overnight at the hospital because of episodes of high blood pressure and a low platelet count.  Because her guest list was upwards of 70 people it would have been nearly impossible to contact the guests to cancel, so we figured it best to hold the shower as planned, and if Jessica was unable to make it, we would feed the guests, and hold a special prayer time for her instead.  Thankfully by the time she had her 2nd set of lab work Saturday morning, her platelet count had increased.  She was released and allowed to go to her shower (better late than never!), but it was to be strict bed-rest after that.  

     The following weekend Mark, the boys and I traveled to UCSF to be with my Grandma Bev (paternal grandmother) while she would undergo a serious operation.  My sweet, amazing grandma only weighs 74 lbs, and they were going to attempt to put a stent in her carotid artery, while trying to avoid a growing abdominal aortic aneurysm.  The surgery took place on Valentine's Day, which I think caused my grandfather (maybe all of us) to be extra emotional, and while we worried about her, we felt very at peace.  We were given the opportunity to pray with her before, and we prayed for the surgeon as well, who said she really appreciated it! The surgery was successful, and after a blood transfusion on Tuesday, my grandma was able to go home on Wednesday. 

     The day before my Grandma Bev came home, my beautiful Grandma Jo visited the surgeon to discuss treatment and was told that she did not have breast cancer.  While we rejoiced in this, we were all a little confused as to how this was misdiagnosed. 



Porter Great Grandparents (to my boys)



   Wednesday, the day my Grandma Bev came home, my sister Jessica was admitted to the hospital, again it was high blood pressure and low platelets.   She was monitored Wednesday and Thursday, and then it was decided she would be induced starting Friday morning.  They administered cervidil several times, but by Friday night she had made no progress. Saturday morning they started with pitocin, and again, by early evening, it was discouraging to hear there was still no progress.  However, no sooner had the mid-wife left the room when Jessica's water broke.  30 minutes after her water broke the nurse checked her and made a startling revelation... it seemed like Tynlee was trying to hold her hand! Another nurse came in to verify, and sure enough, Tynlee had one arm (up to her elbow) out, and one hand out. 

my precious niece

Fiery February Part 2

    I had been at my in-laws house when my mother frantically called and said "Emergency c-section, Tynlee's hand is out!".  By the time I processed the info, she was already off the phone.  I made it to the hospital in record time, praying the whole way, still shocked that it went from nothing, to crazy in a few short minutes.  I was upset and worried because Jessica's platelet counts were barely high enough to give her a spinal, yet that's what she was being given, and they were going off of labs that had been done that morning.  We quietly waited in the waiting room at DMC for news.  When Stephen opened the door with his scrubs on, I started to stand up, excited for news, but he looked at my mom and Karen and said "you two, come with me".  

     About 15-20 (?) minutes later my dad and Steve were asked to go back.  We were informed that Tynlee was here, weighing in at 5lbs, 5oz, and Jessica was good, but I felt a little baffled, because it didn't feel like the rejoicing you do when a newborn makes its entrance.  Probably another 15 minutes passed (no sense of time at this point, especially because my phone was broken), and Stephen came out to talk to us.  He was extremely serious and extremely mature in the way he handled everything.  He reassured us that Tynlee and Jess were doing great, Tynlee's vitals were very good, and she was very healthy but she had a tumor like growth coming out of her mouth, and the doctors here had never seen anything like it before.  Therefore, she would be transferred to Stanford Children's Hospital for further evaluation, and her ambulance would be arriving shortly.  Stephen encouraged us to be strong for Jessica, because not only had she gone through everything that was the exact opposite of her birthing plan, but she was now going to be separated from her baby and her husband for an unknown amount of time.    

     Because I am 11 years older than Jessica, I have always felt extremely maternal and protective toward her.  Having 3 children of my own, I couldn't even imagine what she was facing or about to face.  And then, as I watched my dad walk out of the waiting room doors looking defeated and completely vulnerable, it broke my heart.  It literally crushed me.  He had been through so much lately, he had been at the hospital with his parents for 6 straight days, and the day his mom was released his baby girl was admitted.  Not too many months ago, he himself had a stent put in, so of course I worried about his health also.  How much stress would his body be able to take?  As with the other events of the night, I could only give it to God. 

     When I finally called Mark about 15 minutes after Stephen spoke with us, I allowed myself a short minute to break down to the comforting words of my husband.  He felt helpless, as we all did, but it was of greater comfort for me to have him be with our 3 boys rather than me at that time.  I asked him to not pass on the details of what was happening yet, because for one, I didn't know exactly myself what on earth was going on, and more importantly #2, in no way at all did I want word to somehow get back to Jessica and cause her any more worry or fear.  Only those of us there had even a slight clue as to what was going on, and trust me, we had NO IDEA as to how to process the information.  It was so surreal for all of us.  It seems a little silly now, but because emotions were so high, and because my brother and I had tried for 40 unsuccessful minutes to contact his wife, we also worried about her.  Jeffrey even left the hospital to go home and check on her.  She hadn't received the news about what was happening yet, and she was out in the country, all by herself, so, for a few minutes I worried about her and my nephews too.  Turns out her phone had completely stopped working for a while! And again, I was gently reminded that God was in control.

     About that time my mom came out to tell me I would be able to see my sister.  I had to be extra sure that I would remain composed and upbeat for her.  She looked radiant, not at all like she just had an emergency c-section! I tried my best to avoid talking about Tynlee, because I didn't know how she would react, but I was amazed by her stability when we did finally talk about it.  About an hour later I was asked to share in the joy of getting to see Tynlee down in the NICU.  I even got to hold her!!  My heart melted, and as her auntie I wanted to protect her from everything I absolutely could, especially the unknown that was facing her.   She was so beautiful and my heart broke for her and this thing she had to deal with for so long.  How long had it been since she had been able to fully close her sweet little lips? Was it painful for her? So many unanswered questions, yet God's resounding answer,  Isaiah 41:10; "Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be discouraged, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

     As soon as my mom and I walked out the NICU doors I allowed myself to cry again, this time for only 15 seconds, because I feared that Jess would see my tears and worry more.  We walked back up and I was easily able to proclaim how absolutely beautiful she was and that she looked so much like Stephen and Jessica! Now it was just a waiting game, and the more we waited, the more peaceful I felt about everything.  I think it was around 11:30 pm when Tynlee's "vehicle" arrived to chauffeur her away to an amazing medical staff at Stanford. 

Jessica and Stephen

my parents with the grandkids (there are already 2 more!)